The cars pass and the streetlight reflections run on their glossy surfaces, they have put Christmas lights out in the middle of September, swinging them from the balconies across the narrow streets, red and green and blue, but so small and bright it doesn’t matter which color each one is, they all become little white dwarfs. September means we are all grown up, because everyone is here, and the tones of our voices range from happy and calm to hasty and sharp, depending on our future intentions. You are here, too, a little out of place with having to return to the university, but smiling still with your eyes shining, your skin glowing with the last bits of sun rolling over the horizon. You are here – still stuffing your fists in your pockets and childishly-awkward, although your eyes are sharpened already, when you look at nothing in particular and deep and thought, your jaw clenched – and I think that I would give up anything to know what is going on in that head of yours. Selfishly, is there a trace of me at all? Is there wind and the night sky, is there as much grace as I imagine, is there music, is there love? What feeling you have and what you think of when you smile at me, and what dreams you have, and what you think when we play together – do you consider it a force of nature, or are you aware of my presence by your side, reaching tentatively to you in my head and through my music, plucking the strings so softly I barely touch them, afraid for any harsh sound to destroy the gullible gaseous world we create, the world that goes away with every clumsy breath.
You are here, and it is still warm, although the leaves are dark green and the wind strengthens, and soon you’ll have other things to worry about, too soon. It’s as if all the time we were apart I was unaware of missing you and now when you are here before me the feeling overwhelms me and I don’t know what to do but give you awkward friendly hugs, and sit by your side, and restrain my beating heart. You are here, and I’m in love, with the summer’s heat fading away, the soft sun sunbathing your face and sky turning murky blue. I’m in love and I have no claims, and even though I don’t know what you are thinking I’m happy.
No comments:
Post a Comment